Tips I have picked up on travelling so far......
1. Don't leave your deodorant (always roll on) out in the sun when you are sleeping on a concrete roof or it burns your armpits when you put it on!
2. Learn how to sleep in a hammock – a real travellers requirement, actually learn how to sleep everywhere except a comfy bed as you will have to! Oh and never EVER look UNDER a bed in India (I've never seen anyone in India clean like they mean it)
3. Give up trying to learn peoples names
4. Learn how to be pretentious about books. People go to certain countries and read certain books while they are there. In India one reads ‘Holy Cow’, despite the fact it is crap. They read books that educate oneself about the country they are visiting and will be unimpressed when you pull out your dog eared copy of Joan Collins!
5. Think of an abbreviation for your lonely planet. Some I know and love already are ‘The Bible’, ‘The Lonely Bastard’, or simply ‘The LP’ or ‘The book’
6. Learn how to roll a joint – Well.
7. If you sleep on the roofs in India remember that the gunshot that wakes you up at 3am is actually a coconut hitting the concrete next to your bed.
8. If you want to email in India learn the art of patience. Connections are not just slow they are excruciating! I think the Indian hamsters have grown too fat on chapati and nan bread to run any faster
9. Do NOT leave loose things around when you are near monkeys. At the hotel I am currently staying in, at the last count they had 2 cameras, 2 sets of sunglasses someones pen and a hat. It can only be concluded from this they sit around taking photos of each other in front of the temples when there are no tourists around and that's finished they sit in the shade with the hat on and write their memoires.
10. ‘I see white people! They’re here! Walking around! Like regular people! I see stupid people. That was 2 phrases I used to say when I would suddenly see a white person after weeks of not seeing them - and unfortunately u also see a lot of stupid white people. I saw one just yesterday with a HUGE camera stepping up to people and taking their picture - up close, no request, no money/sweets for the kids, nothing. Eventually he was told to leave the temple - YES the idiot was doing this is a TEMPLE! that's like taking flash photography of people during someones funeral here.
11. Learn how to ride a scooter – without a helmet. No its not covered on your insurance but its fun and you look cool!
12. Get used to not seeing yourself for long periods of time, not a lot of mirrors in budget places you stay!
13. Get used to seeing people on the street with every kind of deformity imaginable – including lepers
14. In India learn the Hindi for ‘why the hell are you staring at me’
15. Spend a lot of time wondering what on earth Indians wore on their feet before the invention of flip flops
16. Learn the difference between a tourist and a traveller. You will only spot this difference if you are a traveller as you will see tourists everywhere with bare shoulders, huge cameras round their necks, walking the WRONG way round a Buddhist temple and saying a polite ‘no thank you’ to every Indian that hassles them for boat hire, rupees or photographs
17. Learn the difference between cows and dogs. One of them is cared for, lavished attention on, fed regularly and thought of as a pet. the other one is a dog.
18. Learn that your name will change from time to time. So far i have been
Hello Madam Boat?
Hello Madam Taxi?
Hello Madam Rickshaw?
Hello Madam You-come-into-my-shop-I-make-you-good-price?
You get the idea I'm sure.
Ok now I cant upload any more pictures here I dunno why but click this link (or copy and paste it)then click on photos for LOADS of pictures, now you can while away a good hour at work with all these!!!
http://www.flickr.com/people/25554642@N00/
dont say I'm not good to you lot!! The only thing I cant upload to flickr is videos so you will have to wait till I'm home for donkeys, goats and monkeys etc etc
1. Don't leave your deodorant (always roll on) out in the sun when you are sleeping on a concrete roof or it burns your armpits when you put it on!
2. Learn how to sleep in a hammock – a real travellers requirement, actually learn how to sleep everywhere except a comfy bed as you will have to! Oh and never EVER look UNDER a bed in India (I've never seen anyone in India clean like they mean it)
3. Give up trying to learn peoples names
4. Learn how to be pretentious about books. People go to certain countries and read certain books while they are there. In India one reads ‘Holy Cow’, despite the fact it is crap. They read books that educate oneself about the country they are visiting and will be unimpressed when you pull out your dog eared copy of Joan Collins!
5. Think of an abbreviation for your lonely planet. Some I know and love already are ‘The Bible’, ‘The Lonely Bastard’, or simply ‘The LP’ or ‘The book’
6. Learn how to roll a joint – Well.
7. If you sleep on the roofs in India remember that the gunshot that wakes you up at 3am is actually a coconut hitting the concrete next to your bed.
8. If you want to email in India learn the art of patience. Connections are not just slow they are excruciating! I think the Indian hamsters have grown too fat on chapati and nan bread to run any faster
9. Do NOT leave loose things around when you are near monkeys. At the hotel I am currently staying in, at the last count they had 2 cameras, 2 sets of sunglasses someones pen and a hat. It can only be concluded from this they sit around taking photos of each other in front of the temples when there are no tourists around and that's finished they sit in the shade with the hat on and write their memoires.
10. ‘I see white people! They’re here! Walking around! Like regular people! I see stupid people. That was 2 phrases I used to say when I would suddenly see a white person after weeks of not seeing them - and unfortunately u also see a lot of stupid white people. I saw one just yesterday with a HUGE camera stepping up to people and taking their picture - up close, no request, no money/sweets for the kids, nothing. Eventually he was told to leave the temple - YES the idiot was doing this is a TEMPLE! that's like taking flash photography of people during someones funeral here.
11. Learn how to ride a scooter – without a helmet. No its not covered on your insurance but its fun and you look cool!
12. Get used to not seeing yourself for long periods of time, not a lot of mirrors in budget places you stay!
13. Get used to seeing people on the street with every kind of deformity imaginable – including lepers
14. In India learn the Hindi for ‘why the hell are you staring at me’
15. Spend a lot of time wondering what on earth Indians wore on their feet before the invention of flip flops
16. Learn the difference between a tourist and a traveller. You will only spot this difference if you are a traveller as you will see tourists everywhere with bare shoulders, huge cameras round their necks, walking the WRONG way round a Buddhist temple and saying a polite ‘no thank you’ to every Indian that hassles them for boat hire, rupees or photographs
17. Learn the difference between cows and dogs. One of them is cared for, lavished attention on, fed regularly and thought of as a pet. the other one is a dog.
18. Learn that your name will change from time to time. So far i have been
Hello Madam Boat?
Hello Madam Taxi?
Hello Madam Rickshaw?
Hello Madam You-come-into-my-shop-I-make-you-good-price?
You get the idea I'm sure.
Ok now I cant upload any more pictures here I dunno why but click this link (or copy and paste it)then click on photos for LOADS of pictures, now you can while away a good hour at work with all these!!!
http://www.flickr.com/people/25554642@N00/
dont say I'm not good to you lot!! The only thing I cant upload to flickr is videos so you will have to wait till I'm home for donkeys, goats and monkeys etc etc
posted by Amy | 2:26 AM
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